Bowling is a Full Contact Sport

It would seem that all our posts as of late on this blog are about our 2 year old.  Well one could argue that her life is more exciting then the rest of ours.  One could also argue that things just happen to her and not as much to the rest of us.  This is one of those stories.......

We went bowling as a family to celebrate.  I was bringing the 16 pound bowling ball off the rack when Olivia came running up to me.  The evidence in the picture is that she did not get to my leg, but rather found the ball.  I am just glad I was basically just holding the ball in my hand and was not swinging it.

FYI she did get a sucker from the Bowling Alley and also one for her sisters.  Once she got those she really lived it up.

Why you never leave a 2 year old unattended

2 year olds are MISCHIVEOUS.  Enough said.

Let’s Say You Get A Ticket...

Let’s say you get a ticket (hypothetically speaking of course).  And not just any ticket.  A really stupid ticket.  If you had gotten a ticket for expired plates, obviously money was lacking to register it: excusable.  Maybe you got caught going a tiny bit to fast on a stupid road with a stupid limit like 25 when it should be 45 (Pony Express Parkway): a little bit excusable.  Let’s say though that you ticket is for NOT WEARING YOUR SEATBELT.  I’m struggling to find an excuse for this one.  You buckle before you go.  Every time.  Easy as pie.

You might come home to this:

These are signs that read:

1. If you died in an accident because you weren’t  wearing your seatbelt, we would be super sad :(

2. Buckle up.  It’s the law.

3. Wear you seatbelt (awesome artwork by Jocelyn)

4.Don’t die in an accident please.  Please wear your seatbelt.  We love you.  Love McKayla

5. Seatbelts save lives.

 

No guilt trip.  Really.  And then... you may have to listen to your wife say (with a smile because she really does love you) that if you died BECAUSE you weren’t wearing your seatbelt, she would be very very angry.  And with that much anger in her heart there would be no way she would make it to the Celestial Kingdom.  So if you really want to be with her forever, you will wear you seatbelt.

Let’s be honest, folks, with a crazy wife like that who wouldn’t want to be with her forever??  Seriously.  Wear your seatbelt.

Fictions

I love fictions. The next posting will be one.

Here’s to you, Grandma!

Today is Raegan’s Mom’s birthday. She passed away almost 3 years ago. Every year on her birthday we like to have a little birthday party for her. Nothing big, we eat cupcakes, sing to Grandma and talk about our favorite memories of her. McKayla is really the only child who remembers her and I think it is good for the other girls to remember they have another Grandma and hear some stories about her.

Grandma is one of the most amazing women I’ve ever known! I love her like I love my own mother (another fabulous woman!). She taught me so many things. She bought me my first bill book and showed me how to use it, a method I am still using today to pay my bills. She taught me how to tie a quilt. She was great to come to when one of my little ones got hurt because she was definitely not the freak out type. She did more genealogy than any person I know, I wish I had taken time to learn that from her. Grandma loved all of her grandkids and each one thought they were her favorite.

So...

Grandma, we hope you can hear us singing to you on your birthday!! We love you so much and can’t wait until we see you again!!

Bunnies in Denver???

Raegan was scheduled to go to Denver for work. My sister lives out here so we decided to tag along. First, Raegan's company rented us a car. When we arrived to pick it up, they were out of full size cars so they gave us an 2010 extended cab Silverado. Pretty sweet! Driving here was insane! It rained to soooo hard that there was flash floods along the I-70 and cars were pulled over everywhere. Suddenly that truck with all the stuff in the back getting soaked didn't seem so sweet anymore. There was almost no visibility and I kindly suggested that maybe we should pull over like everyone else. Raegan (in his most deep, growly cowboy voice) said " No, we gotta truck! He played a little country music and I think he may have even been on the look out for a ten gallon hat and belt buckle. I don't think I should ever let that man own a truck or he will turn country on me for sure.

I couldn't believe how huge Denver is. It makes Salt Lake City look small town. We are having fun though; sleeping in, swimming and playing with the Denver cousins. The thing that amazes me most about Denver though is the number of bunnies everywhere. I didn't see in the first 30 years of my life as many bunnies as I have in the last week. The other night we left to go to dinner and drive by the Denver temple. Within a 1/2 mile from our hotel we had spotted 4 bunnies just hanging out along the road in bushes. At the temple grounds we saw 8 bunnies. Insane! You would think they reproduced like... well never mind.

Open Mouth, Insert Drywall.

This isn’t Olivia’s week.  On Tuesday morning she was rough housing with the big girls ( I was in the other room).  I heard a big thump and then screaming.  Always on ominous sign.  I hurried out to find Olivia screaming in the hall with blood coming out of her mouth.  The tip off to how she hurt her mouth was Jocelyn who was examining the damage to the wall.  Apparently during rough housing she put her top teeth right into the wall.  Sounds painful huh?  She was bleeding around no less than 5 teeth (but all were there!) and she had drywall debris crammed between the back of her front teeth and the roof of her mouth.  I called my pediatrician who advised me to call our dentist.  I called the dentist who, of course, thought she maybe needed looked at.  X-rays showed she didn’t crack any teeth or the roots (yeah!) but she did knock the front couple loose.  He also tried to clean up the debris but it was jammed up there right in between the roof and teeth so hard it wouldn’t all come out.  Luckily by now the rest has worked it’s way out on in it’s own.  Thank goodness mouths heal quickly!

 

Here is where her teeth when into the wall.

The score stands as thus:

The wall: 1

Olivia: 0

 

I almost gave Olivia a point since she did put a hole there but the wall didn’t require x-rays.

The do-it-yourselfer

My dear Jocelyn is a do-it-yourselfer.  I always wanted to be a do-it-yourselfer.  Unfortunately, I am always lacking the skills.  I’m more of an attempt-it-yourselfer.  Anyways...enough about me.  This is about my Jossi.

Jocelyn potty-trained herself at 23 months.  Which is pretty awesome.  When she decided she was ready, I was SOOOO not ready and dug my heels in all the way.  Finally I decided she could do it if she wanted but there was no way I was running her to the bathroom every 15 minutes.  And then she was potty trained.

Fast forward 3 1/2 years to yesterday.  We have been meaning to take off the training wheels on Jocelyn’s bike all summer but haven’t done so yet.  I left her for 3 hours at our friends house yesterday and came back to her riding a 2 wheel bike.  Seriously, only 3 hours later.  Where was my little girl with the training wheels?  I’m a little sad about this.  Sigh.  But really proud of her too.  Now I just need to sit down and make a list of all of the things that I want to be able to teach her.  I better hurry and get to them before she figures it out herself!

 Yeah

Jocelyn!

The Ultimate Mommy Punishment

So... I have my sister’s kids.  Awesome kids.  Panda is 7 and Kodiak is 1.  I love having them but it does make it a little hectic to go anywhere.  Raegan and I braved it though and herded all 5 children to Home Depot.  Jocelyn and Panda were having a little too much fun climbing in and on and through everything.  I asked them a bunch of times to stop (and I swear, I used my nice voice).  Finally after they climbed under a shelf bearing like a million pounds of drywall I had to pull out the mean/grouchy mommy voice.  I made them fold their arms until we left.  Yeah, I know, grouchy.  Somehow though, I don’t think Home Depot is a playground.  The conversation on the way home went something like this:

 

PANDA (to Jocelyn): Don’t you remember we are not talking all the way home?

JOCELYN: Oh yeah.

ME:  Why aren’t you talking?

PANDA: Because you made us fold our arms in the store.

ME:  Are you punishing me?

PANDA: Yep.  And we aren’t going to talk all the way home.

 

After spending the day with 5 kids and asking them over and over to quit screeching in the van and to behave at Home Depot they are punishing me for punishing them by giving me...silence?

Wow.  They showed me didn’t they?

Kind of reminds me of a little song by Depeche Mode entitled Enjoy the Silence.

Summer Break is here!

Summer break is here and we are celebrating!!!  Looking forward to sleeping in, playing, working on the yard, playing, swim lessons, soccer and more playing!  Bring on the sunshine!!

Happy Birthday Baby!

I can’t believe that my sweet, spunky, crazy curly haired Olivia is 2 already!  We love her so much and am so glad she is part of our family.  No one can make the big girls laugh like Little Livvy does!  She is a joy to us!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL!

Birth Control By Example

Yep.  I said it.  Birth Control.  I haven’t blogged in almost 3 months and I have to start out with some taboo topic. That’s ok.  We are going to talk about it anyways.  You may not be familiar with the meaning of "birth control by example" so let me help you.

I’ve been thinking about this topic since my outing to Costco today.  I had a return to make so Jocelyn, Olivia and myself headed out.  By the way, Olivia will be 2 next week (sniff) and EVERYONE knows that Costco with a (almost) 2 year old is risky business.  Well, we made it and stayed for lunch to boot.  Lunch didn’t go well.  Olivia didn’t want to eat and was a little over due for her nap.  Plus she didn’t want to share the beverage (please note I’ve been vague about "the beverage", this is so you will think maybe I’m giving my kids water to drink).  When it came time to leave and I tried to take "the beverage" away she shrieked.  I don’t mean she shrieked, I mean she SHRIEKED.  And not for like 10 seconds but for like 73.8 seconds.  Ear splitting, glass shattering, give me my way or else shrieking.  Now I know exactly how many peopled stopped to look at this lovely display: all but 2 people within a one mile radius.  I also know that at least one couple decided in that long 73.8 seconds that they will never have children.  I set forward the example of toddlerhood for them and it will be adequate birth control.  Hence :"birth control by example."  Best of all, it was free.  Glad I could be of service in the world today.  :)

Mean Meat Eaters vs. Nice Meat Eaters

My sweet Jocelyn is a born animal rights activist. She loves all animals and hates to think of them being hurt. It has taken her quite awhile to come to terms with the fact that chicken nuggets have chicken in them and hamburger is cow. And don’t even try and tell her the deer on the sides of the road is dead because she KNOWS it is just sleeping. She has a tender heart and I love her for it.

Our conversation in the van today:

Jocelyn: Mom, what is the most dangerous creature on earth?

Me: I don’t know.

Pause...

Me: I think we might be, Jocelyn. I mean humans.

Jocelyn: Nu uh Mom! It’s the meat eaters.

Me: Uh...honey...

Jocelyn: WE ARE NOT MEAT EATERS!

Me: Yes we are, honey.

Jocelyn: Well, we are not the mean kind of meat eaters!

I think that must make cows feel better, don’t you? It’s the nice meat eaters eating them. Not the mean ones.

Falling From Grace

Okay.  A more appropriate name might have been "Falling From Lack of Grace" but I just didn’t think it sounded as good. And it’s been over a week since this incident happened so I think I can share it with you without bursting into tears of humiliation. 

We had gotten quite a bit of snow one day and my sweet hubby had called to say that he gotten about 5 miles in the 40 minutes since he left and that if I left right then I might be able to get McKayla to school on time.  So we were rushing to get out the door early.  As we filed into the garage (25 minutes early mind you--yeah me!), I paused on the last step to see the snow through the open garage door.  At least I think it was the last step.  Maybe it was the second to last step.  That would make more sense of the next events.  Huh.

So I was surprised when I took the next step and found myself lying on my back.  I may or may not have been screaming through clenched teeth.  And then hobbled with tears in my eyes to the van. 

I was a bit black and blue but, lucky me, I could walk almost pain free the next day.  Stupid black and blue foot.  I was/am really embarrassed.  Walking shouldn’t really be that hard.  Really.

May you be blessed with more grace than I have. 

Rotten Luck

Are you superstitious?  Me neither.   At least I didn’t use to be.  Maybe I am now.  We closed on our house in November.  Friday the 13th of November to be exact.  Because we did a rural housing loan, which is a 100% loan, we got most of the money we put down back.  The amount of money we got back ended in 6.66.  No big deal because I wasn’t superstitious.  Ha, Ha, Ha, I laugh in the face of superstition.  Or I did.  We have had a whole truckload of bad luck since then.  And I am going to tell you about it.  Only, please forgive me in advance for sounding whiney, which I totally am since I haven’t had much sleep.

• The Friday after we moved in Olivia got a stomach virus. 
• The following Friday Jocelyn got the same stomach virus. 
• The next week was Thanksgiving which is nothing unlucky but as I was hosting it in my new house it was definitely not restful. 
• The next Friday McKayla came home from school with classic step symptoms.  I took her to the doctor and her strep test was negative.  She continued to get sicker and sicker and developed spots on her face.  Then on Monday she got a scarletina rash so I took her back in.  She had had strep which was now scarletina and she also had chicken pox.  Yes, she is vaccinated.  She was so sick.  She ran a fever for 7 days and missed a whole week of school.
• On day 6 of McKayla’s fever Jocelyn got a fever and nasty ear infection
• The first week of December Raegan hurt his back doing our mailbox (this might be my fault as I was insistent we were putting a mailbox in the frozen ground and not getting a PO box until spring.  Oooops)
• My van battery died leaving me stranded at a gas station at the pump.  Died as in needed replaced.  Couldn’t even call Raegan to rescue me as he was at physical therapy for above mentioned back.
• The following week Raegan’s car air conditioning unit seized burning his serpentine belt.  Out of a car for a week and a half.
• Picked up 2 cats from a shelter.  The tiny kitten came home with a kennel cough, ended up wheezing and costing me almost  $60 in meds and is still blowing snot all over me when she sneezes.
• My driveway is crumbling already.  Yeah, I know my house has been complete for only 2 months.  Sure wish the builder would call me back.

This pretty much sums up the last 2 months until last night.  McKayla got a cold on Monday, no big deal right?  Last night I was having trouble sleeping and was trying to lay down at about 12:30.  Jocelyn woke up and wanted to tell me all about her dream.  I let her snuggle with me and tell me about it and finally I got to sleep.  I was woke up at 2:00 am to McKayla standing in the kitchen gasping for air.  Sounded just like croup.  Only she is 8.  Each of my 3 kids have had croup a couple times each but all before they were 2.  It was seriously the worst strydor I have ever heard in my life.  Suddenly I felt very stranded way out here away from hospitals and family to help.  I don’t even know any neighbors well enough for a cheerful canyoutakemykidsat2o’clockinthemorning wake up call. It was so bad I actually considered calling 911 because she was getting almost no air whatsoever.  I grabbed Kayla’s coat and put her in the garage to breathe the cold air.  15 minutes later it was a little better but she still had strydor.  So I loaded all my sweet sleeping little ones in the car, dropped the 2 youngest at my Mom’s and headed to PCMC.  Sure enough she has croup.  The resident who examined her said he was going to get some steroids for her and let the attending physician know that she had croup.  Then he told me on second thought, the attending would probably want to examine her herself because she probably wouldn’t believe him that they had an 8 yr old in the ER with croup.  Lovely times, lovely times.  At least their was no wait in the ER and I was able to crawl into the comfort of my own bed at 5:48 this morning after only having had an hour and a half of sleep.  It was beautiful.  My bed that is. 

So I know if you break a mirror it’s 7 year bad luck.  What is the time frame of bad luck though if you make a major purchase on a superstitious day? 

K, I’m done whining.  Seriously though, the next person who gets sick at my house (whether it be a human, car or cat) is grounded.  Maybe I’ll fake sick and ground myself to my room for a week of reading.  Yeah, that sounds good.